Separate But Together

By Sarah Rogers, staff writer | English major

What do you think of when you hear the term “twins”? A childhood longing to play pranks on your parents? A close sibling bond?

Being a twin is a blessing and a curse, a double-edged sword. At least according to the Sadeghi twins. Forming their own identities separate from each other is a constant effort for Shada and Sherine Sadeghi.

I sat down and discussed individually with Shada and Sherine their personal struggles and joys of being identical twins.

Beyond the fun of always having a friend nearby to talk to, there is an effort to break away and become an individual. “We’ve been together since the womb,” said Sherine Sadeghi, a senior communication studies major. “You’re always known as Shada and Sherine.”

Shada Sadeghi, a senior psychology major, agreed with her sister. “Sometimes I don’t like being a twin because everyone compares you and sees you as the same person,” said Shada. “It’s really hard to have your own identity.”

Don’t misunderstand. Both of them believe being a twin has its advantages. “We always make the joke, ‘If you don’t know what you look like right now, look at me and you’ll see,” said Sherine. “You don’t need a mirror.’”

Shada transferred in during their junior year because she believed APU has a better psychology program. When Shada first arrived at Azusa Pacific, Sherine’s friends would wave at her unsuspectingly. Originally, Shada thought APU students were just trying to make her feel welcomed. She realized eventually they thought she was Sherine. Sherine would joke with Shada saying she needed to wave at people who waved at her so she wouldn’t lose friends.

At their separate colleges, the twins worked on forming identities apart from each other. “People would be shocked when I’d say I had a twin,” said Sherine. “I would look at them like, ‘I thought you knew that.’ Then, I would look around and not see Shada.”

For Shada, two years apart to develop their individuality was key. “Those two years of being separate was vital to our relationship,” Shada said. “It was helpful for those two years to be known as just Shada, not ‘Shada and Sherine.’” Tensions naturally arose from the comparisons people made about them in the past.

In high school, they played basketball on the same team, where competition between them fostered. “There were a couple times during games where we wouldn’t pass the ball to each other because we wanted to prove that ‘hey, I can do this better than her,’” said Sherine. Questions would often be asked about which twin shot better or scored more points.

Nicknames were also a part of playing high school sports. They were dubbed the “Broccoli-headed Twins” for their long tight curls. The “Twin Towers” was the one Sherine always liked.

Despite the good-natured nicknames, Shada and Sherine knew they needed and wanted to be seen as two separate entities. “We may look the same, but we don’t have the exact same strengths,” said Shada.  The way they approach situations, open up to people, and walk with God is completely different, according to Sherine.

“We try to value our family to the best of our ability. We’re Persian and Persian culture values family,” Shada said. “It’s hard to value your sister when you’re in competition.”

Despite the trials of being a twin, Sherine and Shada are best friends and currently live together off-campus. Bonds between the two are stronger than ever now that they had time apart to discover their individuality.

“I’ve always had someone there,” said Sherine. “Even though I have amazing friends at APU, there’s nothing like having your sister with you.”

Sidebar: TWIN FACTS

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health, twins can be identical and fraternal. Identical twins occur when a single fertilized egg splits in two. They share the same genes and look alike. Fraternal twins occur when two eggs fertilize separately. They do not look identical and do not share the same genes, just like siblings from two separate pregnancies. Here are more twins facts, from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention 2009 Final Birth Data:

• U.S. average—32.7 twin births out of every 1,000 births with 414,848 total twin births in 2009.
• California—30.1 twin births out of every 1,000 births with 49,507 total twin births in 2009.