Should we decide when life ends?

A personal story gone viral.


Parents want the best for their children. They don’t want to see them sick, hurt, heartbroken, scared or unloved — the list goes on and on. This is especially true for surrogate mother Crystal Kelley.


Before the story is explained, think about this: who should determine life and death? Do you believe that it is another human’s decision or simply God’s?


Kelley was a dream-come-true for a couple who had three children and desperately wanted a fourth child but couldn’t have any more themselves. Kelley decided this family was the perfect fit and chose to be the surrogate mother for their child.


The parents were both very caring and attentive, and they always made sure to check on Kelley and be there for her throughout this huge process. However, as soon as one thing started going wrong, a whole other side of this couple came through.


Five months into the pregnancy, things took a turn for the worst. After an ultrasound appointment, the doctor told Kelley the ultrasound showed the baby had a cleft lip and palate, a cyst in her brain and serious heart defects. They couldn’t see a stomach or a spleen, according to CNN.


The doctor went on to explain that the baby would need several heart surgeries after being born and would have about a 25 percent chance of living a normal life. After hearing this news, the parents offered Kelley $10,000 to terminate the pregnancy. They did not want to bring a child in to this world to watch it suffer.


“I told them it was not their decision to play God,” Kelley said, according to CNN.


After battling back and forth, Kelley fled the state and went to Michigan, where the laws let her make the final decision for the baby she carried. In due time, Kelley found a couple to adopt the baby, and CNN reports that the biological parents have visited and truly want only the best for their child.


This couldn’t have been easy for anyone involved.


In many scenarios, the child could have seemed healthy and may not have started showing any medical conditions until years later. What would the parents have done then? When the mother had her other children, would she have been okay with aborting those babies if she knew they were going to be sick? I do not know what it is like to have a child, let alone a sick one. But I do know that there is a bond that becomes so strong between that mother and child, that I don’t think the mother would have wanted that same fate if she were carrying that baby girl.


I need to make it clear that I do respect that these parents didn’t want to bring a baby in to this world for it to be sick and needing extensive medical attention. That would be heartbreaking. But it really comes down to if they wanted to fight for that little girl’s life and just love her as much as they could when she was born, or take the “easy way out” and do what they felt was best for both parties involved.


Ten thousand dollars to stop a life from joining our world. People have fought cancer and overcome illnesses, and although this baby is very sick, there is no one who can know what this little girl would bring to this world.


I believe we all have a purpose on this earth. Whether rich or poor, sick or healthy, we all are here to accomplish something in our lifetimes. I personally do not support abortion, but I do respect it as a woman’s choice. I know there are many situations that can arise, but it comes down to a child’s life who may or may not have been planned or wanted, but is still there. Whether it was conceived in a positive or negative way, that child has the chance to become someone great, regardless how they came in to this world. But yes, that is just one person’s opinion.


In regards to this case, I admire Kelley for fighting until the end. When you’re a single mother without a job or steady household and prompted with that kind of money, she was probably put in a tough situation.


That baby had no one to fight for her but Kelley.


So far, the baby has already had two surgeries, and will need a few more within the year. Her heterotaxy and holoprosencephaly, [where the brain fails to completely divide into distinct hemispheres and also which means many of her internal organs, such as her liver and stomach, are in the wrong places,] though mild, carry a risk of early death, according to doctors.


She has at least two spleens, neither of which works properly. Her head is very small; her right ear is misshapen; she has a cleft lip and a cleft palate and a long list of complex heart defects, among other problems.


If she survives those surgeries, there is a 50 percent chance she will not be able to walk, talk or use her hands normally.


Although this little girl looks different than other babies at her age, I think she is beautiful. I hope she will be the child who shocks the doctors when she responds more quickly than they could imagine.


Regardless of how anyone wants to look at this situation, there will be two attacking sides. One thinks Kelley is an immoral person for bringing a child into this world with many medical afflictions when truly it shouldn’t have been her decision.


And the other believes that Kelley is a savior for fighting for a baby whose own biological parents didn’t want her to live.


Should it be our decision when people live or die? I strongly believe it isn’t. If I decided to abandon God and make every decision on my own, I would be scared, lost, and most likely in a ton of trouble. We don’t need to, as Kelley worded it, “play God.”


This is such a heartbreaking story to hear about, and I truly hope this child will be a miracle. This little girl, although it may not seem like it, really had more people loving her than not. A surrogate mother who felt as if she were her own, parents who didn’t want to see this baby suffer ever, and adoptive parents who love her each and every day.


This family was wrong in offering money to terminate the baby. Fact.


No one could pay me money, even $20,000, to do what they asked of Kelley. That baby was their child, their family. You stand by your family and your children in every single situation.


No parent wants to watch their child go through sickness or heartbreak, but wouldn’t you want to give your child a fighting chance? Kelley, as well as the biological parents, could have lived every day of their life wondering if that baby would have survived.


I admire the unexpected trials that Kelley fought and overcame, and I feel if people put themselves in her shoes and realized she was carrying this little girl for nine months, people would be more understanding.


Love is worth fighting for. And Kelley, admirably, fought until the end.

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